Hitchhikers
by SirJoshizzle
Summary: No one said hitchhiking was going to be easy. Oh well. At least I got a lift from who's possibly the hottest guy on earth. AU, oneshot, Link x Zelda.


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New oneshot. What's up with me lately!? 

I think my desire to put up these oneshots is coming from my need to let you know that I'm not dead and that I'm still actively writing (I actually got a good portion of _Circles_ done before I wrote this, which I will tell you about when you're done reading the story).

The main idea for this story came to mind quite a while ago, actually. I kept it and I fell in love with it and I said, "I have to incorporate this into one of my stories!" But I didn't know how to fit it into a plot until now... You'll know when it comes up. Also, this is my first story to prominently feature Midna and Ilia. Finally, after over a year. I'm so behind the times.

I do not own _The Legend of Zelda_.

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Hitchhikers  
SirJoshizzle

Zelda Harkinian exhaustedly trudged down the side of the empty highway. The sun was at its height, its overwhelming warmth beating down on her tired frame. Tresses of her long blonde-brown hair that flew out of her ponytail stuck to her face. Her back was weighed down by her backpack filled with clothes, and her arm numbed as she pulled along her travel luggage. Dust floated in the air with every step she took; she trudged her feet along the hot sand, for she was much too weary to pick them up.

"It's… It's so hot…" Her best friend Ilia Rusl whined weakly behind her. Her short blonde hair had specks of dust it due to Zelda's feet dragging.

"No shit…" Zelda's other best friend, Midna Zant grumbled agitatedly.

"Shut up, Midna," Zelda spat. "It's _your_ fault we ended up like this, so you shouldn't be talking."

The three girls were on their way back to Hyrule Castle Town, located in the north of Hyrule, from a school summer trip to a resort in Hylia Village, situated on Lake Hylia in the southwesten region of the country. The three were currently in the middle of the Hyrule Field Prefecture… some hundred miles away from Castle Town.

Their bus had stopped for the class to spend the night at a motel in Lon Lon Village. But they overslept, and their teachers miscounted during roll call on the buses. They had spent all their money back at the resort in Lon Lon Village, and to pay for the check out since the receptionists did not believe that they were with the class that left a half hour before they woke up. They had no money to pay for a subway back to the city. Needless to say, they were stranded.

"Now just how is it my fault?" Midna cocked an eyebrow.

Zelda stopped for a moment and pretended to be in deep thought. "Lets see… You spent more than half our money on beer, you forgot to set our alarm to wake us up even though you _did_ volunteer to do it, you didn't—"

"Okay, okay…" Midna grinned sheepishly as she rested her chin on the handle of her rolling luggage bag. "I gotcha, I gotcha…"

Behind them, Ilia let go of her suitcases and slumped to the ground. "We're gonna die! We're gonna die of heatstroke!"

"Shut up!" Midna snapped at her. "Besides, we're all in tanks and butt-shorts, so we ain't gonna die from heatstroke. We're gonna die from starving or dehydration _long_ before that happens…"

Ilia's eyes filled with fear, and Zelda glared at the Twili, reprimanding her with her hard gaze.

"Don't listen to her, Ilia," Zelda gave the short-haired blonde a reassuring smile, and looked at Midna from the corner of her eye. "Just hope that Midna here dies first. Then there'll that much less to worry about."

It was Midna's turn to glare at Zelda, waving her off. "Whatever!"

The three stopped walking. None of them had watches, and none of their cell phones got reception in the middle of nowhere. And because they were all city girls, they were ignorant on how to tell time based on the position of the sun. It looked a little past noon since their shadows were beginning to reemerge, but none of them were sure.

"…Hey…" Ilia breathed softly.

"What?" Zelda, who was lying down on the ground, using her backpack as a pillow and a jacket she brought as shade, asked.

"…How about… we hitchhike?"

Midna cocked an eyebrow at that. "That stuff never works… Gods, Ilia, don't you ever watch the movies?"

"Aw, come on, Midna…" Zelda sighed, throwing her jacket at the orange-haired Twili. "It couldn't hurt to at least try…"

Zelda slowly got up and turned her backpack over. She reached into one of the pockets and pulled out a notebook and a black permanent market. She flipped to an open page and on the lined paper she wrote, "IN NEED OF RIDE."

"Oh yeah, _that'll_ attract attention," Midna, who was looking over her shoulder, scoffed.

"Someone's a real crabby pants!" Ilia, who had been sitting on one of her suitcases, stood up and pointed accusingly at Midna.

"Dammit, quit arguing!" Zelda snapped at the two of them. She angrily capped her marker and threw it at Midna. "Come on, Ilia. If we get a ride and Midna falls asleep, lets just leave her here."

For probably the next fifteen minutes, Zelda and Ilia had been standing tiredly in the hot sun, holding up the sign. No cars came in either direction of the road. Ilia slouched to the ground with a grunt as her bottom impacted with the rocks.

Zelda blinked a few times and cracked her neck in an attempt to wake herself up, as she had been half-asleep the whole time. She looked down the road, and through the heat wave she saw something coming in their direction… It was a car! No—it was a trailer!

"H-hey!" Zelda exclaimed! "Hey, Ilia! Midna!"

"Hm?"

"Whaddya want?"

"I-it's a car! It's a trailer! And it's coming in our direction!" Zelda cried out happily. She turned towards the oncoming trailer and waved the sign at it. Ilia joined her, jumping in the air and flailing her arms up. Midna just sat back, watching them while she chewed her gum.

"Hey trailey-wailey!" Ilia waved. "Could you take us to Castle Town!? Pretty please with a Lon Lon burger and Ordona cheese!?"

The trailer didn't stop, though; instead, it actually sped up and drove right past them, leaving large clouds of dust in its wake.

The three girls coughed and sneezed incessantly amongst the clouds of sand. Their eyes were irritated, and their hair was a mess.

"Ack! Achoo!"

"Aww, man! People are so mean these days!"

Moments later, the dust finally cleared. As their coughing finally subsided, Midna couldn't help but snicker at the two girls. "You _actually_ thought you'd get someone to help you like _that_?"

Zelda narrowed her eyes at her and hurled the notebook at her. "Like you're one to talk! You're not even helping!"

Midna narrowly dodged the flying book and laughed. "You want me to help?"

Ilia gave her a stupid look and tapped the ground impatiently. "Duh! Come on! Lets see if you can do any better!"

The Twili sighed and got up to her feet. She walked over to them, next to the road. She looked down the highway, and there were a string of cars headed in their direction.

"Alrighty…" Midna rubbed her chin. "Y'all see those cars?"

Zelda and Ilia didn't answer.

"Okay… Take note that they're all guys…"

"Nope," Ilia shook her head. "The station wagon in front is a family."

"'Cept them, station wagons are for poor people," Midna shrugged it off.

"Ever look in your wallet lately, Ms. Booze?" Zelda muttered under her breath, earning an elbow to the side from the orange-haired girl.

"All you gotta do is get those cars with the guys in 'em yer attention!" Midna winked at the two. "And we're all girls; how hard could it be!?"

"Okay…" Ilia nodded slowly. "How do we get their attention?"

"What bra size are you?" Midna pushed Zelda aside and reached under Ilia's tank top and read the size. "…Too small. How 'bout you, Zellie?"

"W-what!?"

"34C… Yours'll do," Midna shrugged.

"W-wait!" Zelda pushed her away. "W-what are you gonna do!?"

"C'mon, girlie!" Midna laughed, tugging at the frayed seam of Zelda's camisole. "Lets give 'em big boys a lil' show!"

And before Zelda could do anything, Midna forced her to face the cars and pulled her shirt and bra up, revealing her breasts to the oncoming cars. Ilia caught sight of them and gasped sharply.

"My Gods, they're mountains!" She cried out, covering her chest with her arms.

The family in the station wagon stared at Zelda in shock: the husband driving and the adolescent son in the backseat couldn't tear their eyes away from her chest; the mother in the front seat fainted; the daughter sitting with the son suddenly felt insecure and looked down her shirt at her breasts.

The three cars, which were filled with all college boys around the same age as the girls, were wolf whistling, hooting like animals, and snapping pictures with their cameras and cell phones.

None of the cars stopped; they all veered off the road in different directions before colliding with each other or driving into the large rock formations.

"…Oops," was all Midna said.

"RUN!" Midna screamed, letting go of Zelda. She picked up her bags and dashed as fast as she could down the road. Ilia and Zelda soon followed.

"I was so sure it would work!"

"Dammit, Midna! What the hell did you do that for!"

"You're so brave, Zelda!"

"Don't be impressed by that! If the police were here, we could've gotten arrested!"

"Don't get your panties in a bunch! At least I helped you get someone's attention! Better than that stupid sign!"

"That's _not_ the kind of attention I wanted!"

"Should I get implants, do you think?"

"Are you serious!?"

**- - - - - - - - - -**

An hour later, Ilia, Zelda, and Midna were once again sitting on the side of the road. Ilia was sleeping on her suitcases which were arranged into a makeshift mattress, Midna was playing solitaire with a pack of card she brought on the trip, and Zelda was reading a travel guide on Hylia Village.

A car was coming up, but neither Zelda or Midna paid attention to it; they had been trying to attract the attention since the incident an hour ago, and and every attempt failed.

But they heard the car slow down. Zelda looked up from her book to Midna, who was giving her the same questioning look she had on her face. They turned to the car. It was a nice looking pearl white Onesan Altima. And the driver wasn't too bad looking either. It pulled over to the side of the road in front of them, and the engine turned off. The front passenger window slowly rolled down, and reveal to the two exhausted girls was a man.

He looked around their age, give or take maybe a year or two. His blonde hair was unruly and his hangs hung slightly over his eyes, which were hidden behind dark sunglasses. His tan body was evidently toned, as his torso was covered only by a white ribbed tank top.

"Hey ladies," he smirked.

"…Hi," the two girls stupidly replied in unison.

"What're you two doin' on the side of the road like that?" He asked, raising a questioning eyebrow.

"We're kind of… stranded," Zelda shrugged.

"'Kind of'?" He smiled in amusement.

Midna sighed in defeat. "Yeah, we're stranded."

"Uh huh… I see." He looked forward down the road. "Where are you two headed?"

"Castle Town," Zelda replied. "We're Hyrule U. students."

He nodded slowly at that. "Really, now? Well, I'm headed on my way back to Castle Town too… I'm a student at Castle Town State."

"The party school?" Midna raised an eyebrow.

"You know it," he nodded with a lopsided smirk. "Wanna lift?"

The two girls looked at each other happily, and then back at the man. "S-sure!"

"Cool," he smiled. "You might wanna wake up Sleepin' Beauty, though." He pointed his thumb to Ilia, who sure enough was still sleeping.

"R-right," Midna nodded. She picked up Zelda's open book and slapped Ilia's arm. "Wake up, foo', we got a ride."

"Not like that!" Zelda swiped her book back. She could hear the guy chuckling softly to himself. She softly shook Ilia, who was already starting to stir. "Wake up, Ilia."

"Oh yeah," he spoke. "Sorry, name's Link. How 'bout you pretty ladies?"

"I'm Midna," the Twili said. "That's Zelda… And over there's Ilia."

"Midna… Zelda… Ilia…" Link repeated, pointing to each of them as he spoke their names. "Got it."

He got out of the car as he adjusted his black board shorts, and helped them all with their luggage into the trunk, with was already half-filled with his own bags.

**- - - - - - - - - -**

"Thanks for the ride, Link," Zelda bowed slightly. They were all in front of Hyrule University's Light Auditorium. Ilia and Midna were already on their way back to their dorm. It was dark, around eight o'clock. "I'd pay you for your trouble, but…"

"No need," he shook his head and his hand. He took off his sunglasses, and revealed to him for the first time his perfect ocean blue eyes. He smiled charmingly and wiped his brow. "It was my pleasure, drivin' home three lovely girls."

Zelda couldn't help but roll her eyes at his platitudes, but in a certain way, she found it cute.

"But…" He added in a sing-song voice. "Your number _could_ make up for it… You know, just sayin' is all…"

Zelda just laughed softly and shook her head. "Are you like this with all the girls you meet?"

"Nah," he shook his head. "They usually call me abrasive and a jackass."

She smiled smartly and replied, "…And this is?"

He looked down at his lap with a small smile, shaking his head, before turning back to her. "I'll see you later."

"…Wait," she said before he reached to turn on the ignition. She reached into the car through the open window for a marker and a small notepad on the dashboard. She quickly scribbled her cell phone number on the yellow paper, ripped it off the spiral binding, and handed it to him.

"There you go," she laughed.

He turned on the overhead light to get a better view of the writing. "…Nice. I'll make sure to call it."

"Remember that my name is Zelda," she warned jokingly. "You're not gonna get much luck with me if you call me something else."

He couldn't help but laugh. "I'll keep that in mind."

And with that, he turned on the engine and drove off into the night.

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So there you go. 

If you've been following my blog, you've read the official prologue to _Circles_ (and if you haven't, **sirjoshizzle(dot)blogspot(dot)com(slash)2008(slash)01(slash)circles-excerpt(dot)html**).

But because I just completed chapter seven (which is the final chapter in the first investigation scene!), I decided to give you all a full-fledged excerpt from that chapter! YAY! The chapter is titled, "Tarin Genealogy", just so you know. The excerpt doesn't give much in the way of the plot. In fact, it's more of Link fanservice than anything else. It was thrown in specifically to please my female readers, who make up a rather noticeable portion of my readerbase. And c'mon, what girl doesn't want Link? Even I want him sometimes. Come on son, open your eyes--that boy's delicious! Mmmm! You can read it at **sirjoshizzle(dot)blogspot(dot)com(slash)2008(slash)02(slash)circles-chapter-seven-excerpt(dot)html**

Leave a review if it tickles your fancy. And what do you think of _Circles_ so far?

_Enjoy Life and Smile.

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